The thing is
to love life
to love it even when you have no
stomach for it, when everything you've held
dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands
and your throat is filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you so heavily
its like heat, tropical, moist
thickening the air it's so heavy like water
more fit for gills than lungs.
When grief weights you like your own flesh,
only more of it, an obesity of grief.
How long can our body stand this? you think,
and yet you hold life like a face between your palms,
a plan face, with no charming smile
or twinkle in her eye,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.

Ellen Bass